Day 122


Today, I had a rough morning with the boys, bringing me back to those mornings months ago where I’d be nursing a hangover while dealing with two potty-training, strong-willed, mischievous toddlers, on 5 hrs of interrupted sleep and buried in overwhelming work stress.

While this morning was tough, it was NOTHING like one of those mornings. Why? Well, the boys are older and fully potty trained for one. But one of the main reasons this morning went better than before has to do with my own change.

Before, I would have yelled. Cried. Gone outside and screamed so loud the neighbor would text “Everything okay over there?” (yes, this actually happened). I would have hurried the boys through the routine, physically forcing them to get dressed and into car seats, no patience for any interruption. And still ended up 15-30 minutes late.

Now? We’re still always running late, but in spite of the boys testing my every limit and pushing each others buttons continuously this morning, I did not completely lose it (came CLOSE! but held it together) and I managed to ride out a massive temper tantrum with Little C in a way that made me proud in the end.

Grateful for the changes that have made this possible. And also grateful for the clearheadedness to see how far I still need to go.

Schubert, Impromptu No 3 in G-flat major, D 899