Day 130

Mad About Monkeys: An Encyclopedia, by Owen Davey


I’m having a mint & chamomile tea (late evening staple lately), and fitting in some work email, begrudgingly. My “slow it down” mentality may have me going to bed early tonight… I have zero energy for my usual evening list.

Recent conversations about habits and how our brains work have me pondering the commitment I’ve made. This started as a year of sobriety, but I’m wondering if I need to start now in committing to a lifetime. If I open my monkey brain* up to the possibility that at a year, I can go back to drinking, my monkey brain will probably start pestering me about it even if I want to stay quit.

Damn monkey brain.

*What I’ve taken to calling the thoughts in my head – wild and out-of-control, unless I see them and choose how to manage them (ignore, contain, accept?)

Gratitude postscript:

Driving home, I caught myself heading down the familiar negative pathways due to tiredness and work stress… and it was like catching myself biting my nails. I looked up, suddenly aware of the subconscious actions of my brain, and mentally slapped myself. I have a great job! I work for myself, making good money, for the most part appreciated in what I do and recently, not working all THAT hard. Today, I’m grateful for that.