Day 231



A quick thought for a rainy Saturday.

When I drank, it was a method of coping with the discomfort of life’s stresses. I had other methods of avoidance as well. During the day: my phone (even in the car, I am embarrassed to admit), Facebook, online shopping, reading, listening to music/podcasts, anything to distract from the messy, prickly space inside my own mind. Of course at the time, I would have pointed to everything outside of myself for the reasons why I was stressed, upset, angry, sad. Little did I know that it came from within.

Although it was not a conscious part of why I quit drinking, I’m now realizing that the space inside my mind is becoming a more comfortable place to be.

And through sobriety, exercise, rest, meditation and an awareness of the distance between my thoughts and my Self, I’m creating that space intentionally.

No longer avoidance, but acceptance.

As I start sketches of a crows-nest treehouse for the boys, I’m imagining it filled with soft pillows, covered by petals of fabric, open to the trees and sky above… a quiet, safe place away from the usual routine of life. Similar to the goal I have for my mind.