I feel like I need to offset yesterday’s accusatory post with a more flattering one about C. Because of course, he is a mix of good and bad like the rest of us – and the good can be really good sometimes.
Last night, after tucking the boys in, I came downstairs feeling out-of-sorts and honestly, looking for a fight. I found him sitting on the couch with a notepad in hand, planning out the meals for our upcoming trip to my folk’s remote cabin next week.
My dad is retiring, and my whole family will be in town to celebrate. Various siblings and other family members will be overlapping our stay at the Cabin while we’re there, so a few of the meals will include extended family. And C cares about making an enjoyable meal for everyone (with only some amount of internal pressure to impress my family).
So there he was, working away, trying to figure out how to make meals that don’t take a lot of prep or fridge space (the Cabin has no electricity or running water, just a propane-fueled stove & small refrigerator), that will be yummy for both kids & adults, and that satisfy non-dairy & vegetarian appetites.
It’s not easy.
But he feels the weight of that responsibility because meals are “his thing”.
And guess what. That’s pretty awesome.
He’s also a really involved dad. Not perfect, but he’s there, present, caring, down at their level. And it’s beautiful to see their relationship developing over the years.
He has a very caring, sensitive side. He cares about social justice, about helping those less fortunate, about supporting causes we believe in. And he’s generous.
When we are out & about, he’s very equitable with his sociability, talking with anyone from the hotel staff to the head waiter as though they were his brother.
When he cares, he really cares.
I need to be careful not to focus too much on the negative or that becomes all that I see. As I sat quietly next to him instead of picking that fight, it was helpful for me to see that sometimes, being quiet is best.