Day 138


How can one day, one week, contain so much love and joy, and at the same time so much stress, overwhelm, and angst. 

Today was another marathon day. It’s only 8:45pm and I feel like I’ve been hit by a train. How was it that I ever left the house to go work out at this point in the day?! Seriously, I could go to bed now and sleep like the dead.

I have freelance to do but my brain is a complete flatline.

In an effort to make our evening easier, or to do something special, my mom took us out for dinner tonight. We knew it wasn’t going to be “easy” really, but at least we weren’t cooking or cleaning up, right?

By the time we got to the table, that drink menu was CALLIN’ MY NAME. 

I had to turn it over and hide the drinks away. All those icy liquor-based drinks. I thought about the release, the pleasure, how one or two of those would make all of the boys’ annoying behavior laughable and I’d be able to relax, finally. Maybe even have a few laughs with my mom.

But no. Ice water with lemon it was. 

And now, I’m headed downstairs to unplug a bit before calling it a night. Fingers crossed the boys let me sleep through this one.

Gratitude postscript

I’m grateful the boys’ did pretty well at the restaurant tonight. It could have gone much worse. I do think they’re growing up and learning and improving, in spite of some of the regression I’m seeing this week with Nana around. We didn’t even have to pull out the iPad.