Day 159


I lost it with the boys again this morning. I didn’t yell, but I did raise my voice and got super frustrated with them – launching into a lecture that I’m sure sounded a lot like the Peanuts mom.

Then, per usual, I end up stewing over my failure throughout the day. Why am I still losing it? Why is this so hard, even when I’m doing everything “right” (working out, better sleep, attempting mindfulness & meditation etc etc)? I mean, I KNOW what I need to do, but in the moment I just can’t seem to rise above my emotions and do it.

A year ago, I might have REALLY lost it, and yelled or been forceful in a mean way with the boys, so maybe I’m improving, just a little? It’s so hard to tell. 

Some days I feel more encouraged than others. Today, not so much.

So I’m going to sign off with this thought: I have twin 4yo boys. That in and of itself should be an excuse for losing my shit every once in a while.

No longer an excuse to drink though!

Gratitude Postscript

I’m grateful that my husband brought dinner to my desk tonight, when I got caught up in an urgent (and currently ongoing) situation at work. I’m grateful that there is yoga in my future. And I’m grateful especially today, on International Women’s Day, for all of the strong, graceful, wise, generous, intelligent, beautiful women in my life who inspire me to be better. I definitely got lucky in that department.