Day 184


The Beautiful Walk (La Belle Promenade), by Rene Magritte

April Fools Easter Sunday

6 MONTHS! I made it 6 MONTHS! Wahhooooooo!

When I first started, I remember thinking how far away and impossible 6 months felt. But day by day, it happened. Up days and down days, just normal life happening around me, as if nothing had changed. But so much WAS changing, under the surface. I’m not sure I would have been able to guess how much this decision was going to change my life at the time I quit.

And even after 6 months, I really have no idea, except that it’s made a huge difference, with far-reaching effects, already in the first 1/2 year. 

I hope and pray that the next 6 months continue on the same path and that on celebrating a year, I’ll be able to say that I made progress against some of my current goals, primarily more patience and acceptance with myself and others.

Speaking of goals, I’ve started a rough bullet journal – actually to call it that might be a gross exaggeration – but it’s a visual log of three daily activities I want to track over the next few months: meditation, exercise, and 8 hours of sleep. Today was day 1. The 30-day challenge showed me that having a visual checkbox system was motivating especially after the days started piling up (similar to this blog), so let’s see if it works for these other goals!

A 6-month review:

Looking back, I can see I’ve come a long way. My current slow-down may be partially due to overload of expectations for myself and for the experience of quitting. And I think somehow, my brain knows it needs to go dark for awhile to allow things to percolate in the subconscious. So I’m OK with that.

In the days ahead, my posts may be less about personal growth, and more about salad recipes and exercise achievements… forgive me the insufferable Healthy Shit. In all honesty, once I saw what a difference quitting made, I started making these other tweaks (to diet, exercise etc) and the payoffs have been tremendous. I feel better than I have in years, more energy, more focus, more confidence. And being more aware and in tune with my body, I can see the improvements even just having a green smoothie can make for my mood, energy levels, morning productivity etc.

So I’m tweaking away, while the subconscious percolates.

Gratitude Postscript

I’m grateful for another wonderful day with the boys, not very Easter-y, but filled with outdoor time and great conversation. No timeouts, no screaming (them), no angst and frustration (me). I’m grateful that the hearty salad recipe turned so well, and looking forward to sharing with my friend & neighbor J tomorrow. I’m grateful for fun plans ahead with the boys this week. Last but not least, I’m grateful each and every day for the enjoyment of a long hot shower. I know that sounds weird, but it’s one of my favorite moments of the day, and I savor it. Might as well express that here!