Day 183

Roasted cauliflower salad with lemon tahini dressing


Percolating along over here, still sober. The daily epiphanies may have slowed down but good stuff is still happening under the surface. Seismic shifts without the earthquakes. And once in awhile, something will crop up to remind me how far I’ve come.

Last night, cleaning up the downstairs on my way to bed, I drank some water from what I thought was my water glass… only to realize it had been C’s and he’d had something alcoholic in it, beer or bourbon – then filled it with water after. Even watered down, the taste of stale alcohol was completely disgusting. I found myself recoiling in a visceral way. In only six months, I’ve completely lost my taste for it.

Of course, I wonder if that same reaction would happen had I tried the pinot noir he opened for dinner tonight. A bottle from one of the verticals we have from William Selyem, a relatively unknown winemaker that specializes in the pinot noir grape – and I will admit to feeling a pang of longing. The color was perfect, a clear jewel-tone red, with legs for days and a thin clear layer on top… 

But then the longing passed, and I enjoyed the rest of the evening without the dry mouth, the impending headache (wine always gave me an early hangover), and the added impatience with boys’ bedtime routine.

Tomorrow marks 6 months. 

I’m going to celebrate with a nice workout, green smoothie for breakfast, new hearty salad recipe for lunch, and lots of outdoor playtime with the boys.

Gratitude Postscript

I am extremely grateful for the wonderful family day we had – running around our favorite local beach in a 50-degree, perfectly sunny day, biking on the boardwalk and running into random Easter-bunny fun (something I wanted to do this weekend but hadn’t planned ahead for). The boys were uncharacteristically easy, and we even went out to eat for lunch. Overall, it was a smooth-sailing kind of day, and I’m appreciating every moment of it.