Day 247

Primus – The Rainbow Goblins Chapter 1 (The Valley)


Back at work after a wonderful weekend with S, full of crazy kid time, an evening out to see her cousin in concert, a perfect beach day and lots of laughs.

The Mastadon/Primus concert was a blast, in spite of the fact (or maybe BECAUSE of the fact) that neither of us drink. I was remarking to her on our way home that it would have been an entirely different experience if I was still drinking.

First of all, we probably would have Ubered, or I would have wanted her to drive – which she would have reluctantly accepted, not one to drive at night in an unfamiliar place. I would have pre-gamed a bit at home, having 1-2 stiff cocktails before leaving, then some wine or beer with dinner pre-show, and then immediately filling the empty space at the concert with beer after beer.

Later in the evening, when we got texted by her cousin’s wife to come join them post-show, I would have been the annoying drunk girl hanging on a fully-sober S*, thinking I was funny but mostly just being loud and embarrassing. Or maybe I would have been self-conscious around the band, knowing I was soaked, and had a miserable experience as the wallflower.

In the end though, we had so much fun circling around the stage, trying to pick out the people on LSD, laughing at the mosh pit crazies, and rocking out to music we don’t normally listen to. When we hung out with the Primus & Mastadon crew after the show, I felt nicely in control and fully myself, confident but not overbearing. I enjoyed having conversations with a variety of people who might have intimidated me before, but now, with more awareness and confidence, it was just a lot of fun.

The other night she stayed with us, we smoked pot together – and I’m not going to make any excuses for that. It was awesome. S may struggle with depression, but the woman has a sharp and unique wit that comes to light occasionally, and apparently smoking pot helps. 

Over the course of the evening, we both laughed so hard my sides hurt the next day, even as we we said goodbye with tears in our eyes.

At the beginning, our friendship consisted of throwing theme parties, bar-hopping at the local alt-culture haunts and flirting with guys. 15 years later? It’s about being there for each other through thick & thin – the fabric of our lives is richer, thicker, more complex.

I appreciate what we have, knowing how rare it is.

*And I forgot to ask her what that experience was like in the past.