Day 248


As could be expected, the news of Kate Spade’s death today has brought to light the common struggles people have with suicide as well as the common reactions. All over social media are comments like “Well, goes to show money can’t buy happiness” and “Why???”.

News of suicide always hits me hard as I have close friends and family members who have been suicidal, as well as a good friend, J, who took his own life last summer. As we head back to the beach, memories of him come rushing back. He’s even been in my dreams recently.

Over the weekend, my good friend S helped me work through some of my anger at J.

He didn’t kill himself, the illness killed him. It was out of his control. You feel betrayed? The person you knew and loved WAS the real person, not the illness – which distorted his reality and took away his essence. Be angry at the illness, not the person.

C and I have shed many tears together remembering J, but it will take a while to process what happened. Staying open to feeling the pain, instead of numbing it every night with booze, is part of the plan.

It’s amazing how much the mind and body are connected… to feel actual pain and heaviness in your heart over the suffering of another human.

I’m learning that true consciousness pays as much attention to the body as the mind.

In the brain pan today:

A relevant post on Facebook by Bunmi Laditan

Breaking Addiction to Negative Thinking (video), Eckhart Tolle – I feel the need to say this is marinating for my own needs, not as a response to another person’s negative thoughts