Day 25

Fake it till you make it, Gaya

Wednesday

Today was another busy day, but throughout the busy-ness I had a number of thoughts marinating. Not sure any of them are quite fully processed yet so I’m saving some nuggets for future sharing when they’re a little more complete. 

But for the sake of putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, tonight – I’ll share one. This thought has been bubbling to the surface for awhile now: the idea of “faking it until you make it”.

Words and actions have the power to bring about transformation, even when we aren’t truly “feeling it”. 

My Valentine’s Day decision to love myself the way I wanted to be loved led to a number of personal goals for 2017 which have all been transformative. I have a Post-It note hanging off my computer that I read almost daily with the list of goals, among them more self-love, more exercise & outdoors, less alcohol/pot, invest in friendships, therapy, more sleep, more of what I love – music, travel, woodworking etc. 

And I’ve done most of them, more or less. After one of the many times my therapist told me that I need to love myself first, I asked her in frustration, HOW? How do I love myself? How can I validate myself? How can I be enough?

Tough questions, but I think I’m beginning to find one answer.

Just by ACTING as though I love myself, I am feeling more love for myself.

On that note, I’m going to go to bed… more sleep.