I’m just realizing I didn’t post today, and it’s almost midnight so this will be a quick one. It was a busy day but I had a great therapy session, and also reached into my growing network of sober online groups for wisdom about having a relationship with someone who drinks heavily, while you are trying to quit.
In a nutshell, the advice was:
- You can’t change another person, just focus on yourself
- Take care of yourself, make yourself happy first and foremost
- While they may try to change you back, don’t worry about their moods and reactions – that is a reflection of their own struggles, not yours
- A deep, meaningful relationship is not possible when one or both people are drinking
- Regardless of how “high-functioning” he is, heavy drinking is a sign of bigger issues that will remain unsolved as long as the person is drinking
- So just work on your own issues – that’s more than enough to handle
Work on my happiness, work on my issues, and keep on keepin’ on. Sounds like a good plan.
In case anyone is reading/for my own future reference, here are some links to groups and info that have helped me today: