Day 49


I found myself in another slump today, and let my perception of C’s mood (negative, judgemental) get to me. We barely spent time together today, but the time we were in proximity to each other, he managed to really rub me the wrong way. Who knows, maybe this was all just in my own head. But regardless, by the end of the day, I was in a funk.

After boys went to bed, I distracted myself by prepping for Thanksgiving when, mid-process on the sweet & spicy nuts, I realized I needed a couple things from the store. Thankfully, that break gave me the processing time I needed and I came home in a better place.

My realization was that I had my head down – buried in the mundane stresses and transient, stupid emotions of the day. And I needed to raise my eyes and rise above. Interrupt the misery of the moment with gratitude. So I spent some time thinking about the things C did that I was grateful for today. And there were a few! Being an equal partner with the cooking, cleaning and boys was a good start. Picking up nuts at Costco for my recipe. Giving the boys a bath tonight, so I could finish making the apple pie. Was I angry at him still? Yes. But it interrupted my rumination and helped me to rise above.

I know this has the makings of a perfect inspirational quote overlaid on a nice image, maybe with a hashtag #blessed. But I really am learning that some of these “Rumi-isms” (and even the AA 12 steps) may actually be on to something. I guess I’m at a point where I’m able to absorb it, and sometimes live it.

And I guess gratitude is appropriate to practice, in this season of Thanksgiving.