Day 63

Michael Flynn 12-2-17, NBC News


With the news roller coaster and life’s own, less important, but more immediate dramas, today has been an emotional day.

Working on 6hrs of sleep – so an improvement over the last week’s average, the boys and I spent the morning together having a lot of fun… strenuous to be sure, but fun. My patience ran out around lunchtime though. They are a tough crew to wrangle to do just about anything, even fun stuff like playground visits, and I just ran out of the patience needed to ask the same thing nicely 5x in a row.

C came in and took over after I snapped at one of the boys and literally picked him up and put him in his lunch seat. I took myself upstairs into time out and collected my wits.

No reason, other than lack of sleep & stress, that I should be this high-strung today, but here I am. 

Tonight, C is drinking less than usual, from my side-eye glances. And I think he’s been alternating his G&Ts during the week with cranberry sodas. Might I hope that he’s working on his own habit? Or maybe it’s that he was sick.

In any case, he’s pretty sober tonight, and I’m looking forward to having a bit of time together after boys go down.

Now, on to the bedtime Crazy – got naked twins running into the room.

PM Update:

Ended up watching a movie with C, eating popcorn and found myself almost reaching for his beer for a sip. Out of habit and desire. It was insane! My body really wanted it, compulsively. And this after deciding I hated the smell – hahah! 

My roller coaster brain. sigh.