Day 66

Leucantha, Philip Grausman


Busy day today, tonight’s workout is my carrot. I’m beginning to realize how important physical activity is, not just in my logical brain but deep in my long-term learning center. Lived learning vs logical learning.

I’ve always been someone who read and listened to a lot of pop-psychology, self-improvement type content. And honestly, I knew it was going in one ear and out the other most of the time. Things like mindfulness make so much sense, logically, but are extremely hard to implement.

Now, after quitting (and possibly with the help of Wellbutrin – which it seems has opened my mind to think outside of it’s usual patterns) I find that I am not only more receptive and absorb more, but I even find space to change my actions based on these logical learnings… bringing them out of the grey space of my brain and into the visceral, material, real-life testing environments of work, home, relationships etc.

Does that mean I’m succeeding at mindfulness or any of the rest? Absolutely not, most of the time. In fact, tonight – after a couple spats with C, I feel further from it than ever.

But regardless of how I feel in the moment, without the alcohol I’m one step closer.