Still itchy, but surprised at how smoothly today went.
I think the firehose of onboarding at the new agency and creative push over the weekend/late night last night depleted my brain so that I was left on auto-pilot. And right now auto-pilot says, No drinking…just do the next thing on your list… kids bath & bedtime, kickboxing, check in with sober online group, post here, read book… bed.
Of note: husband has been following me around in the evenings as I go through the boy’s bedtime routine, out of concern, I believe, for my ability to handle it without losing my temper. Guess I’ve been snappier than normal during this last week. Usually HE’s the one losing his shit, but now it’s me. I hope this settles down soon. I’ve had to swallow my pride a couple times now and let him take over. Grateful that he’s supporting me in this, but also a bit ashamed that I’m that on edge.
I’ve heard that it takes 7 days for the alcohol to leave your system, so right now – the urges are all mental. I will say that I’ve noticed a clear-headedness that wasn’t there before, and a connectedness with the people around me, including coworkers, friends and family. I didn’t realize how often I was avoiding contact with people because I was either drunk/buzzed and unsure of how I would sound, or hungover and wanting to be more collected before we spoke.
Interesting article on addiction/connection, with some neuroscience nuggets.