Day 146

Dancing at a friend’s wedding, 100% sober.


Yesterday was my 41st birthday. At the point in the day when I wrote yesterday’s post, it honestly hadn’t even occurred to me. But my boys and C reminded me quickly enough. And the evening was filled with joyful surprises: the boys singing Happy Birthday in French (!? Apparently they learned at daycare?), C turning off the lights and bringing in a tiny ice cream cake with candles, thoughtful gifts from a new woodworking tool to a lovely book of photography that made me cry, dear friends reaching out with intention – asking questions about how the year went and remarking on specific memories – not just tossing over the obligatory Facebook happy birthday. I feel so incredibly grateful, even undeserving.

What a year it’s been.

At this point last year, I was in such a dark, desperate place. And now, it’s like the light has been turned on, revealing more goodness than I ever knew existed, as well as all the dust and dirt that has accumulated over the years. If this past year was about waking up, I hope this year is about moving forward.

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re doing something.
― Neil Gaiman