Day 109

Wednesday

If yesterday’s post was about Confidence, today’s is about Intention.

Driving home from work, having resisted biting my nails off during an incredibly intense day, I am noticing how much easier it is to stick with an intention, now that I’ve quit drinking.

For sure, our inhibitions drop away as do our best intentions, the more we drink. And in the moment, that makes sense. But what I wouldn’t have expected is the more global effect. 

Not only am I better at resisting temptation (snacking on a whole bag of chips, biting my nails off, sending an angry text etc) when I’m sober in the evenings when I would have been drinking, buzzed or drunk, but I’m doing a better job of living intentionally during the DAY – when I would have been sober anyway.*

The effect has carried over into my daytime life, when I thought I was an upstanding professional – successful, organized, respected, regardless of my nighttime habits.

I’m learning the ways in which I wasn’t quite as put-together as I thought, now that I’m quit – and am more myself. A better self. It’s encouraging. And also a little embarrassing – like I’m playing catch-up with all the sober people in my life, wondering how much of my habit *was* noticeable even during the day.

*Disclaimer: this isn’t true 100% of the time. But it is nice to see a noticeable improvement overall.