Day 12

It’s Thursday, the fourth day of my first week back into (semi) full-time agency work. I was anxious heading into this week, as agency life can be stressy and boozy. And I was right to be worried! If I hadn’t set clear limitations upfront, and kept maintaining them throughout the week, I could have easily worked 10-12 hour days. But I’m doing my best to draw lines and remind them I’m freelance with prior commitments that we’ll need to work around.

In my first few days though, I was amazed at how often alcohol was mentioned throughout the work day. As most creative agencies these days, it’s open-office, for better or worse, so you hear the conversations going on around you… and the two most common topics lately, aside from work-related stuff, have been Trump and alcohol.

And it’s not just agency life! Now that I’m trying to avoid it, it seems to be everywhere. Advertisements in my news feed, billboards on the drive into NYC, mentions on the radio, DrinkedIn parties via LinkedIn, Girl’s night out in my Moms of Multiples Group, Wine-o-clock hashtags, Facebook memes about parenting and the need for booze (boy, can I relate!)… I can’t even escape it at my kickboxing class – with people mentioning it left and right.

It’s pervasive. 

I know I’m hyper sensitive right now, but damn. It’s like society has a bad boyfriend and is still quite in love even though it’s super unhealthy… and only the sober folks really get it.

Proud of myself for staying strong this week, and have a little more confidence headed into the weekend. Still on edge in the evenings, but I think? it’s getting better. C and I did lunch today, which was good considering how last night felt, and he asked how it was going. I gave my honest answer – about feeling much more clear-headed and confident, even 12 days in, and how it was getting easier. I try not to have expectations for our relationship, but a not-so-small part of me hopes that my experience will help him quit one day.

Change comes from within though. I know it took me a few years of knowing and wanting to quit, before I actually did it.


“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.” – Henri-Louis Bergson