Day 14

Saturday – full day today, including three parties and my first two “no thanks” conversations.

The first was an annual pumpkin-carving get together with our beach crew. Each year it grows, and this year it was around 50-75 people, not including kids and dogs, all carving away. Lots of beer, food, some shots of whisky and the like going around the campfire. C and I split up as we normally do – C going for the beer, and me trying to find friends to connect with – to keep my mind off the booze.

One of our drinky-est friends came over to talk politics and make plans for our next boozy evening at their basement bar, the Twilight Lounge – where T pours a heavy Manhattan, and keeps the drinks flowing all night long. We usually Uber over, and get blasted while commiserating about the current political landscape. She’s pushing me to get a sitter and come over soon – they need to talk Trump. She’s talking about Uber and making plans for next weekend, and I casually mention that I’ve stopped drinking so could DD if needed. 

She instantly grabs my arm, out of concern, wondering if I’m having health issues. I assured her I wasn’t and then went into my “it isn’t serving me at this point in my life, it was hurting more than it was helping” elevator speech which I’d thought through, but she interrupted me in my first sentence to say, “No worries, no need to make excuses, I’m just glad you’re OK” in kind of a rushy, dismissive way. It made me realize, some people probably just don’t want to hear Why.

My second “No thanks” conversation was at the third party of the day – a clothing swap at a friend-of-a-friend’s house. My girlfriend and I arrived late, dragging our bags and hangers of clothes in, to meet a house full of women – all chatting away over wine, beer and finger foods. The place smelled like chardonnay, and the mood was bubbly. The hostess immediately asked what cocktail she could get us, and I was unprepared. I stuttered out, “Do you have tonic?” She graciously offered a few seltzer options without hesitation, and I was grateful that she didn’t   push anything alcoholic. So I ended up with a mandarin seltzer and shopped the evening away, feeling quite content.

Now I’m home and headed to shower before bed. Tired but looking forward to a hangover free Sunday tomorrow…