Day 148

Zig Zag, by Ophelia Pang


Crashed and burned off my little zen pedestal of “Wait before you speak” this morning… feeling the stress of a multitude of home and work-related projects that need to get done somehow in my “free time” over the next couple weekends, and launched into C about not wanting to be the primary parent this weekend. This was pretty much the worst thing I could have done if I wanted his help, which was what I needed to ask for, really.

So, after a morning spent at the computer (thanks to his help, in spite of my attitude), I came down to lunch with an apology. The words “Don’t React” on our bedroom mirror are shaming me these days.

The afternoon was filled with a sugar-filled birthday party (do we really need to feed kids huge slices of fondant, candy and cookies for 2 hours to call it a birthday?). Now we’re back home – kids parked in front of the TV while C cooks dinner and I wrap up some work emails.

I can’t say it was that stressful of a day, but man – parties like that leave me feeling the old familiar, Damn I’ve Earned A Drink feeling. I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself that I’m not even able to smoke a little pot tonight (staying 100% sober on weeknights as much as possible) when I remembered – I can find other rewards. I can’t believe I’m almost 6 months in and I still need to remind myself of this!

So tonight’s reward is going to be a new Betty Rocker workout, as I join a friend in a body-weight workout challenge over the next 30 days, followed by a little Netflix, hopefully meditation, then bed at an early hour.

Ya hear that, Self? EARLY HOUR.

Gratitude Postscript

Feeling grateful for a good workout plan right now. Just finished the 1st day and am hopeful about doing this for 30 days… even might try getting up a 1/2 hr early and fitting this in before boys wake up. Fingers crossed!