Day 173

Snow Day Wednesday 

Yesterday was my last therapy session with K, and although I know it is the right timing, part of me feels a little afloat in the unknown. Having a weekly session with someone who listened and offered feedback on this journey has been a stabilizing force that helped keep me accountable.

I’m grateful for this blog to back into for similar reasons (minus the feedback) as I worry that left to my own devices, with no accountability, it would be easy for me to slip back into drinking and other unhealthy behaviors.

But the learnings are there. I’m not even 6 months in, and I can already see so much life improvement – I don’t know that I would ever go back.

I say that, and yet, at times I feel like my mind plays tricks on me: “See, it isn’t that bad! You could totally have a drink or two now! You can’t have ever been that bad if quitting has gone this smoothly. Are you really going to be one of those strict teetotalers for the rest of your life? Is that really necessary?”

Flip flop flip flop flip flop. Amazing how our monkey brains work.

Gratitude Postscript

I’m grateful for a friend and neighbor’s support today with the boys, while they were home from school and I needed to work. I’m grateful that C put the boys down so I could workout last night. I’m grateful for a short circuit workout this morning, and for evening plans ahead to look forward to: yoga at home, then working on a commemorative painting for this same friend & sitter, who has just lost her dog.