Day 177

Loneliness, by Lin Ran


I posted in my sobriety group on Facebook about being in a slump, coming up on 6 months and just feeling like my personal development had hit a wall. The two types of responses so far have been: 1) Work the steps, stay with the program, talk with your sponsor (yeah, none of that helps me as AA is a bit too cultish for my taste) and 2) Wow, you’re brave for saying that. Thanks for voicing what a lot of us feel.

The second response I find interesting. Why am I brave for admitting that I’ve hit a slump? I certainly don’t feel that way. I feel weak and actually a bit shy about it – hence the reach-out in anonymous Facebook land rather than anywhere else, even here.

But that’s where I’m at. Frustrated with my lack of progress on the personal front, in spite of great strides on the physical front. I’m still losing my temper with the kids and falling into the same old pit-falls with C.

I guess tomorrow is a new day. One day at a time, as they say in AA.

Gratitude Postscript

I’m grateful that I didn’t expect much from today. C’s back is out, so it’s been a full day of me & the boys, who also didn’t nap, which meant there has been no time for anything other than playing with them and making meals. I’m grateful for the yummy gazpacho I had time to make, miraculously while cleaning up from breakfast. I’m grateful for our friends & neighbors who didn’t mind when we just dropped in on our bike ride this afternoon.