Day 178

no divulgada, by Lena Gutschank


On the phone with my dad this morning and found myself venting a bit about the recent work and family mini-dramas. He and I have a weekly Monday AM call that I’m grateful for, even if I’m not always chipper and positive every time we talk. And this call was no exception. He talked a bit about the next few months before his retirement this July, how he is transitioning into this new phase of his life, ready or not. He and mom were finishing a late breakfast and sounding very leisurely – something I must say is not normal for my folks, but quite refreshing.

In contrast, I had just come away from 2.5 hours of morning chaos: a quick Tabata workout at 6:30am, then breakfast with the boys and morning prep – getting everyone dressed and out the door 10 minutes late for daycare. I have no idea how this all takes 2+ hours, but somehow I can’t manage to get it done any quicker – I’m racing the whole time.

So my commute is a welcome quiet zone between work and home that I like to fill with e-books, podcasts, music, and calls with loved ones.

And after venting a bit to Dad, he expressed how full my life was right now – how he had no idea how I did it all. I admitted “not very well!” and then found myself saying that the one big success of my life right now has been quitting alcohol. And that has made all the difference. I honestly have no idea how I was doing it all before, without the hours that alcohol was sucking away from me in the evenings, and dealing with the handicap it gave me during the day. 

And here I thought it was HELPING.

With all the juggling and balls constantly dropping left and right, I’m grateful for the last 178 days of sober success. At least I’m staying consistent with this one important goal.

Gratitude Postscript

I’m grateful that C is getting an Xray today to diagnose some back problems that were exacerbated over the weekend (and kind of hoping the doc sees a hint of fatty liver and warns him – is that bad? omg it is) I’m grateful for a relatively slow week at work. I’m grateful for fitting in my workout today before the boys got up. I’m grateful for room to grow, and for life working hard to teach me the lesson of acceptance.