Day 18


T minus 3 days and counting… to the first real test of my sobriety.

Tomorrow, we leave town with a few of our friends to drive 8 hrs south for a wedding on the Outer Banks. The wedding is Saturday, and man, am I anxious. I haven’t really told anyone about quitting – and this will be a large group of all of our close beach friends, so close they’re almost family. Guaranteed they will all be drinking most of the time we’re there. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I think there is even a brewery tour planned.

I’ve got my “no thanks” conversation planned (“trying to be healthier” or “it was hurting more than helping at this point in my life” or just plain “not drinking right now”), my alcohol-free drink of choice selected (seltzer & lime), and an escape plan if I get desperate (loading my purse with the vaporizer for a quick puff in the car if needed). 

But I’m still super nervous. 

I’m worried it’ll be boring and annoying to be around a bunch of folks excitedly getting their drink on, while I’m staying fully sober. I’m worried, just a little, that I’ll be seen as a downer, or get tired sooner and want to leave. Then the fun part of me gets rankled and says, well fuck that, I’m going to dance my heart out and have a blast. I don’t need goddam alcohol to do that. And you know what? I’m gonna look HOT – with all the working out and calorie loss from the non-drinking, I’m doing pretty well…and I plan on owning it.

But for the brewery tour? I may just skip out and go find a theater showing BladeRunner.