Day 200

Cactus, by Yasmine Gateau


I always find it interesting when the Universe serves up just what you need in the moment. Today and recently, the lesson is about pain and acceptance. And everywhere I look this morning, the lesson is presenting itself.

A friend of mine lost an early-term pregnancy this week and is blaming herself. I reached out to let her know I understand the need to find someone or something to blame when the pain is so great, but it might be better for her own health to set aside that need and instead honor her grief by accepting it.

As I thought about my words on this morning’s commute, I found myself in tears for her loss, but then slowly realized I was also crying for my own personal pain and the struggle I’m having to accept it – looking for someone to blame for W’s issues, for C’s struggle with alcohol, for my own impatience and unhappiness.

A bit of a lightbulb when off when I made the connection:

Like alcohol, blame is just another form of avoidance we use when we don’t want to feel pain.

Of course then this video pops up in my Facebook feed:

What Does Having An Addiction Really Mean?

"I was a maniac!"

Posted by Russell Brand on Thursday, April 12, 2018


I can’t say I’m a big Russell Brand fan, mainly because I find his personality a bit obnoxious, but the content of this video applies precisely to today’s mindspace.

Today’s inspirational email quote, but of course:

“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.”

― Max Lerner

Thanks, Universe. I’m listening.