Day 226

The Wolf King, by Dan Burgess


I took Mother’s Day off from anything except family and fun. An exciting (and exhausting) visit to the Lincoln Science Center followed by a mani/pedi during the boy’s nap, and then making a giant bubble recipe and trying it out with the boys (grand success!). All in all, it was a wonderful weekend.

Now, it’s back to the Crazy, and this all-over-the-map post follows suit.

Today’s work day included two opportunities to drink: a wedding shower and a company-wide meeting with some special announcements. As a freelancer, I’m skipping the last one (giving me the chance to write this – ha!), but at the first celebration, I was the only one not raising a glass to toast, as there wasn’t a non-alcoholic option around. Maybe at some point I’ll be fine joining in just for appearance’s sake, but not this time.

Another update on the alcohol front: C only had one cocktail prior to our Family Meeting last night, which I remarked on – grateful that he’d stayed somewhat sober. And the meeting went well! More sharing, less directing.

This morning’s meditation is providing background throughout the day – the simple concept that happiness involves empathy, because through empathy we are connected to others, and connection brings happiness. Disconnection or isolation creates unhappiness.

This isn’t a new thought, but just a slightly different way of looking at it, for me. 

I’ve struggled with having empathy for the non-empaths in my life (“how can they not understand how that makes others feel?!! how can they be so blind?!”), but this simple thought allows me to see how lonely that position must feel.

I think the Lone Wolf concept is idealized, especially for men. All you have to do is look to Hollywood for examples (James Bond, the Bourne series, Sherlock Holmes the list goes on… one man, acting alone, solves the mystery, rights the wrong, saves the world). 

But in the end, isolation is bad for us. And alcohol plays a big part in that, telling us that it’s providing the solace from the hardships of life, while we slowly drift away from those people closest to us and the connections through which we might actually find solace.

The re-connection I felt with those around me just in the first few months of quitting was astonishing, almost embarrassing. Had I been this out of touch?

But now, another meeting notice is pinging…back to work – today’s pondering moved to the back shelf again.