For some reason, or reasons – of which I could guess a few, today I’ve been in a foul mood. It wasn’t a great night for sleep, but even a nap didn’t fix it. I think it’s the black cloud of a major project that needs to be much further along by now, hanging over my head.
As with any slump, the only way over is through… but hell, the going through part ain’t any fun.
Guess it’s a similar slog to this whole quitting process. Some days, you just need to put your head down and keep on keeping on.
Plans for tonight are to get boys in bed, while C heads to a concert with guy friends, and then buckle down for an evening of freelance. At least it’s a distraction!
Late PM addition
Somewhere between dinner and boys’ bedtime, I learned that a friend had passed away after battling cancer for months. Not a close friend, but almost a sister to my very loved sister-in-law. On receiving this news, I recognized the instantaneous desire for alcohol to numb the pain. It was as if, in that moment, all of my rationale and determination went out the window. A dangerous place to be. But I am letting the emotion in, and have been feeling the pain – appropriately – tonight. I can’t help but empathize – she was a mother of two young children, my age.
Back on the computer now, to work on this project, but am struggling.