I am finding myself filling my schedule to the gills lately – and even ramping it up with the holidays. Finding new recipes to cook, working out, pulling extra freelance jobs, amassing a long list of projects to take on, watching Netflix shows, reading multiple books, holiday shopping, etc etc etc.
I’m honestly not sure whether this is a good thing or not. Initially, it was to replace the evening drinking with something healthy that would distract. Now that I’m almost 2 months in (still super early sobriety), I’m wondering if I’m just using this Busy-ness to avoid processing the prickly painful stuff that sits in the back of my mind.
I know that my 1-hr commutes are great for processing, and yet I fill them with phone calls, podcasts and zoning out to music.
Evenings might be good as well, but I’m barely getting to bed before midnight and find myself busy right up until my head drops onto the pillow. Some processing tries to happen then, as my mind churns and stresses, but usually I’m trying hard to turn it off – not dig in to the problems.
In line with the latest desire to make space to meditate and to spend time practicing gratitude, I think I need to slow down. Take a few deep breaths once in awhile. Leave an evening or two open during the week. Turn down additional work.
Easy to say, much much harder to implement – especially now with the holiday madness bearing down. But hopefully intention counts for something!