Wednesday
It’s a madness of work, baking, food prep, and packing today! No time for error, no time for rumination, no time for alcohol. But somehow, every year prior, I managed to make room for that handicapping substance! It’s amazing how, in the worst possible times, alcohol seemed like the solution but was in fact a large part of the problem.
In years past, I would have headed into the busy-ness with glasses of wine to start, and as the evening began, stiff G&Ts and maybe a puff or two – to celebrate the beginning of the holiday, as a reward for all the work accomplished and a buffer for the work to come. I would have stayed up late late late to fit it all in, arriving at midnight or 1am with a massive buzz and then stumbling to bed with a glass of water and a few Advil, hoping against hope that the morning would be easy on me, as we headed into the frenzy of packing the van and trying to get on the road by an early hour.
Of course, the mornings were never easy. And waking up with a hangover to deal with two little ones and the craziness of packing for a trip was never fun.
Did it help me have fun the night before? Maybe. Did it help me accomplish everything on my list? Not really. Many screwed up recipes, many forgotten ingredients, many “fuck-it” moments where a plan was scrapped, many “shit, I need an ingredient from the store but am probably not safe to drive” moments.
Although today will still be strenuous, it will be easier than in the past, thanks to the clear head and capable hands provided by my sobriety. And I’m baking and prepping more food (and more complex, delectable food) than I have in the past – I think because in a way I am replacing the pleasure of alcohol with super yummy food treats. I’m excited to share them with family and excited to be more present in the moment while we all enjoy them.
And I’m reminded around every corner to rise above the Work of it all, and enjoy the reason Why – family, gratitude, celebration, tradition.
I am so grateful.
Wishing all of us a wonderful Thanksgiving!
