Day 99

Yukai Du

Sunday

About to hit 100 – wow that feels like an accomplishment!

Today was another juggling act. Bounce House with the boys in the morning (got a “workout” in playing with them there), then cranked on freelance during their naps. 

I’ve put in ~10 hours this weekend, and as much as I don’t like the stress of it, I do appreciate the $$ it’ll bring in after the holidays.

Nothing much of note today, except a few minor things. For one, the strong temptation to grab C’s wine over dinner and take a sip. In my mind, it would have been an incredible taste experience – luscious, deep, rich, layered.

Of course, I didn’t, and it wouldn’t have been. That’s what I tell myself anyway.

Also, I found out that an online quitting buddy (one of my AFFs from Living Sober) had been out of touch because she’d started drinking again. She and I originally quit on the same day, which is part of why we’d gravitated to each other. Plus, she’s a super cool woman: medical librarian, creative brainiac, quirky dresser, fun personality, and similar marriage struggles. But as I reach 100, she’s starting over at Day 1.

It just reminded me how easy it is to slip up… and then slide, slide, slide down that slippery slope.

Between that, and the rather disappointingly typical day I had emotionally – specifically with the interactions with C, unable to bring myself out of the normal negative mental grooves, I am headed to bed with renewed intentions for tomorrow.

Back at the office, finally. May the change of scenery bring a change of mind.